


Every Time We Say Goodbye

by HeereandThere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Loneliness, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 21:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18646051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeereandThere/pseuds/HeereandThere
Summary: Inspiration: "Sylvia" (particularly that one scene where Sylvia sings this song, waiting for Greg to come home)When Jeremy takes a trip to New York on business, he and Michael struggle to adjust to a few days without one another.





	Every Time We Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know where I was going with this. This song got stuck in my head and I wanted to do something with it, so this was born. (´∀`)

_Every time we say goodbye_

_I die a little_

  
Michael wandered the miniscule apartment aimlessly, humming a tune he had heard on the radio during the ride home from work. He was too antsy to recline on the couch, though simutaneously overtaken by such a loneliness that his motivation to partake in any fruitful activity was nonexistent, so he was left absently drumming a table here or dusting off a seat there.

It was only day two of his wonderful fianceé being off on business, and he was in absolute misery.

Michael had never been accustomed to living in an empty home; he had been raised by mothers who were always there and had spent a decent segment off his life with his brother before the elder of the two went off to college, and when his turn to seek higher education came around, Michael had bunked with Jeremy. Then, they went straight from that to domestic bliss after sparking a romantic relationship near the end of their college years, and neither of them had really ever gone out of town without the other. But, out-of-state publishers desired to meet Jeremy to discuss the prospect of making the writing project he had been working so dilligently on a reality, and they were willing to cover Jeremy's travel expenses. ONLY Jeremy's travel expenses.

And so Michael was left all alone, proud as could be of Jeremy but so, so cripplingly lonely.

_Every time we say goodbye_  
_I wonder why a little_

  
New York wasn't fairing much better for Jeremy. He was beyond thrilled at the prospect of being a true, professional, and, above all, paid author, but the days had been spent in and out of meetings, his only human interaction outside of those conferences being meaningless small talk with the hotel concierge or a waiter.

Having finished his business for the day, he sat in his room, staring numbly at the television display as he absentmindedly drummed the bedside table with his fingers. His heart ached for something he couldn't have: company, real company. And by real company, he truly meant Michael.

Being alone and in a massive city with crippling anxiety was a mess in and of itself, and all he wanted was to be able to reach over and feel his fingers intertwine with Michael's. He wanted to bury his face in the rough fabric of one of Michael's button-ups and listen to his weirdly adorable giggles as he called him a dumbass and reassured him it was okay and reminded him he loved him. It was cheesy and the thought of it made Jeremy all the more heartsick, but he was a bit of a hopeless romantic and couldn't make the imagery subside.

_Why the gods above me_  
_Who must be in the know_

  
Michael draped himself over the back of their couch and huffed, catching a glimpse at the time on his watch: 6:43 P.M. With an overdramatic moan that would rival even that of Chloe's, he threw his leg over the back of the furniture and rolled down onto the cushions below, and the springs of the ancient seat groaned in protest against the haphazardly thrown weight of an entire man. Jeremy was supposed to initiate a video call at 7:00 sharp, but time seemed to be on the opposing side of the two lovebirds as it seemed the seconds were ticking away at 1/3 of the rate they normally did. Given, Michael spending the past hour staring at the clock didn't make the flow of time feel any more rapid, but he mentally insisted that there were some powers that be that were hellbent on trying his patience.

A part of him considered calling a bit prematurely on his own, but he decided he wouldn't be that person after the Squipcident. This was Jeremy's adventure, and he needed to respect that Jeremy may have been busy or exhausted or just not in the mood to speak to him 17 minutes ahead of schedule. Boundaries existed, and such a thing had been set when they came to the agreement that 7:00 would be their call time.

Still, it was taking an incredible amount of self-restraint, self-restraint that Michael didn't even know he had, in order to avoid picking up his phone and hunting down Jeremy's contact.

_Think so little of me_  
_They allow you to go_

  
Jeremy genuinely pondered calling Michael just a tad earlier than planned. After all, it was fast approaching 6:50, and Michael usually didn't have anything going on until he would shower and call it a day, somewhere between 8:00 and 8:30. He was sure just a few minutes was going to make no difference in Michael's typical routine, but there was that one part of his mind that ate away at him and insisted that calling before the designated time without permission was going to result in complete fallout, despite the fact that Michael's main standards in a spouse were be loyal and not a douchebag, not to avoid calling him before 7:00 P.M.

He sighed and relinquished a tiny "I'm so pathetic" before shooting a quick text for the reassurance he believed he needed.

_ **YOU: Hey is it cool if we go ahead and chat??** _

 

_**💖Lover Boy💖: No not at all** _

 

**_ 💖Lover Boy💖: Shame on you for assuming I prioritize the love of my life over my precious rounds of fortnite _ **

 

**_ YOU: What happened to "Fortnite is trash and doesn't deserve Game of the Year"? _ **

 

** _💖Lover Boy💖: It became an unpopular and outdated meme and people stopped playing it_ **

 

_**💖Lover Boy💖: So now its free real estate for real gamers like me** _

 

_ **💖Lover Boy💖: Anyway just call me already I'm lonely :(** _

  
Jeremy resisted against the hypocrite in him as the urge to mock Michael's pleas crept into his mind and instead began the call that they had both been not-so-patiently awaiting all evening.

_When you're near_  
_There's such an air of spring about it_

  
Michael put on a coy face to mask the relief he felt as he pressed the button to accept Jeremy's attempt at contact. God, he was so hopeless, but the emptiness of their apartment had become unbearable, even with the absence of only one person, but it was his FAVORITE person. There was no feeling quite like just knowing Jeremy was present; it was this sensation of familiarity, of safety, and with him gone, that feeling had been replaced with a hollow discomfort. It was so strange how one person could come to mean so much in another's life, and Michael quite often found himself feeling guilty about banking so much on someone who greatly disliked being of such importance. But, still, Jeremy meant home, and a lot of Michael's life was rooted in this man. He wasn't honestly sure where he would be if they ever decided to separate.

The words on Michael's mind were something along the lines of "I love you" and "I'm really glad to see you", but instead the words "Sup, slut" escaped his lips. 26 years old, and he still showcased only the most charm in front of his loved ones.

_I can hear a lark somewhere_  
_Begin to sing about it_

  
Jeremy let slip something somewhere between a laugh and a sigh, appreciating the severe lack of formalities. The sheer ridiculousness that radiated off of Michael was enough to make even the stoniest heart melt a little, and the phrase "Sup, slut" provided more extremely welcome familiarity than anything New York had to offer. "Hi to you, too."

"How's the big city treating you? You look..."

"Like ass, I know." Jeremy rubbed his eyes tiredly. "It's been a really long day." Michael's brow furrowed and his mouth curved into a slight frown, which immediately filled Jeremy with regret for already ruining the first time they had talked in pretty much 24 hours. "I mean, just a lot of business talk. I always thought this shit got more interesting as I got older, but I think it just got more confusing. Let's just... not talk about it right now. We can save it for when everything's actually said and done. What's it like back home?"

Michael gasped with feigned excitement and cupped his cheek in his hand in a show of glee. "Guess."

"You went to work and it was the exact same as always?"

"Bingo. The only difference was you weren't home to make the day suck less."

Jeremy was all-too aware that this was intended to fluster him, but his little bisexual heart still skipped a beat.

_There's no love song finer_

  
"I'm flattered."

A sly grin spread across Michael's face, a look of triumph and joy at the sight before him. "I know you are. I see that smile." His brilliant brown eyes somehow softened more than usual, their typical puppydog-ishness amplifying tenfold. "I really have missed you, you know. I hate coming home to an empty apartment. I'm so close to buying a dog and naming it Jeremy."

"Really?"

"No, but now the idea's in my head and I just might."

Jeremy quietly laughed again before a seriousness arrived to replace the mirth. "I've missed you, too. I keep having to remind myself that it's just a few days, it's a massive opportunity. But, I hate being here alone." Solemity came over him, but he took a deep breath and replaced it with a remotely upset happiness. After all, they were talking then. It was better than nothing, right?

_But how strange the change_  
_From major to minor_  
_Every time we say goodbye_

  
"I know it sucks. But at least it's just one more day, and then you can come home and we're gonna celebrate your book the right way."

"A night in with pizza and 'The Office'?"

"You bet your sweet ass."

_There's no love song finer_  
_But how strange the change_  
_From major to minor_

  
This led to discussions on pretty much everything their lovesick minds could get their thoughts on, each and every subject somehow connecting to another by only a tiny thread of commonality. This was what their conversations were like: seamless transitions between asinine and average topics. Time went by much quicker than whenever they were waiting for these moments to arrive, and it wasn't until Jeremy fell asleep on the other end that they realized how late it had truly become. Reluctantly, they called it a quits.

A bleary, blissful smile overcame Jeremy as he looked at Michael one last time for the evening. "I love you," he mumbled.

"I love you, too."

_ Every time we say goodbye _

 

** _Call End_ **


End file.
